If You Want It

5.10-5.17.06

If You Want It

In this week’s issue:
* Tuning In It’s Melvis, not Elvis by Daiv Whaley
* Cool Cleveland Comment on Whiskey Island by Peter R. Griesinger
* Who Are You? Cleveland’s leading satirist on our marital status
* Cool Cleveland Kids podcast click here, CC podcast click here, CC Blog click here

We find ourselves in an enviable position. The snowbirds are starting to leave Florida and Phoenix, where it hurts to breathe and the sun burns spots on your skin, and they’re flying back to Cleveland, where the nights are cool and the days are warm and getting longer. Ask anyone returning, and they’ll tell you what they won’t miss while they hang out in Northeast Ohio: the bugs, the hurricanes, the drought, the unrelenting traffic, the debilitating high prices.

Just to rub it in, we’ve assembled a short list of worthwhile things to do this week, only in Cleveburg: FusionFest, A Tasteful Affair, the Rock Hall’s annual benefit, a Latino Fashio Show for Cleveland Fashion Week, the Flat Can Co (and an interview with one Miss Melvis), the Dance Synergy Festival, a lot of great seminars, and a premiere of Thamos, King of Egypt by Kent’s own Halim El Dabh. Eat your heart out, Sunbelt. Come and get it. –Thomas Mulready

Tuning In: It’s Melvis, not Elvis
By Daiv Whaley

Miss Melvis turns out to be Melanie Fioritto, a native of the Cleveland area and a long-time musician involved in the Rock scene here. Witty, smart, self-possessed and confident without that annoying cockiness some musicians seem to wear like a second skin, she makes a very striking counterpoint to her black t-shirted band mates kicking up enough decibels to literally shake the walls.The Flat Can Co. performs this Fri 5/12, at the Beachland Tavern with Pistola and Blush. You can also check out their sounds at the Grog Shop on 6/14, with Bardo Pond and Neil Blender. They will be featured at this year’s Ingenuity Festival in July. http://www.TheFlatCanCo.com

Cool Cleveland: Okay, first off, who are the other members of the Flat Can Co.?
Miss Melvis: Sure, there are the brothers Pickering, also known as Scott (drummer) and Keith (guitar). And Jim Donadio (bass), who I refer to as Jimmy D!

CC: By the way, is it Flat Can Company or Flat Can Co.?
Melvis: I don’t even know. Flat Can Co. I suppose.

CC: Your music in the Flat Can Company is fantastic…….so much feed-back and cacophony going on….like you four are whipping up a thunderstorm on stage. When you played the All Go Signs event at Cleveland Public Theatre last summer, as you guys were all jamming in that amazing balcony scene, I kept waiting for one of you to start hurtling lightning bolts down from Mount Olympus or something. Have you ever thought of wearing Viking helmets and capes on stage?
Melvis: Ha! Thanks by the way. I did actually think about hurtling myself off of that balcony for minute. A former band mate of mine in the audience found it to be a great opportunity to throw water bottles at my head. And all along, I thought she was trying to give me a drink…
Read Tuning In by Daiv Whaley here

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NewsLinks

• Ohio goes anti-gay. Again. In the recent primary election, Ohio Republicans elected their most anti-gay slate ever, according to the Gay People’s Chronicle here. Watch for the lovely sport of gay-bashing to feature prominently in the upcoming Ohio Governor’s race, with Blackwell campaigning against gay marriage here. What are your feelings on the direction of the Governor’s race? Letters@CoolCleveland.com.
• Cool Cleveland Podcast Cool things to do this week in Cleveland, at the click of a button. http://www.coolcleveland.com/files/audio/CoolCleveland05.12.06.mp3. Don’t forget, you can subscribe to this podcast by saving this link in your favorite program that catches podcasts.
• Cleveland bookstores now online Thanks to the efforts of The Bookstore on W. 25th, book-hungry Clevelanders can now shop local online at the 8 area independent bookstores, such as Old Erie Street Bookstore, Zubal Books, and the fabulous Loganberry Books. Check them out here: http://www.BooksCleveland.info/. Coventry mainstay Mac’s Backs Paperbacks also has their own new site here: http://www.MacsBacks.com. And mark your calendar for Case’s huge 80,000-book book sale 6/3-6, with details here. Your thoughts on Cleveland’s struggling independent bookstores? Letters@CoolCleveland.com.
• New 150-ft. wind turbine on Lake Erie Symbolic of Cleveland’s new spirit and our innovative entrepreneurs working in advanced energy manufacturing, the Great Lakes Science Center’s huge 150-foot wind turbine is the first on the southern shore of Lake Erie, generating 7% of the Science Center’s electrical needs. See story on GreenCityBlueLake here. Have you seen it? It’s worth a detour to North Coast Harbor. Letters@CoolCleveland.com.
• Dave Abbott on Public Square See text of his speech, courtesy of GreenCityBlueLake here. He rants on sprawl, demographic changes, the loss of community, the price of oil, and bowling alone. Read it and send us your thoughts: Letters@CoolCleveland.com.

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NewsLinks

• Newspaper circulation drops 2.5% in 6 mo. They’re not blowing taps yet, mainly because their websites are growing, but the Newspaper Association of America reported that average newspaper circulation was down 2.5%, and Sunday numbers were down 3.1% for the last 6 months, mirroring results from the previous 6 months. The San Francisco Chronicle was down 15.6% and the Boston Globe declined 8.5%. See report here. Cited were increased use of the Internet and other media outlets for news. How do you get your news besides the newspaper these days? Letters@CoolCleveland.com.
• General Cabbage Report Richard Jay, and his crew of keenly inquisitive contributors are keeping tabs on the pulse of America by spotlighting the people, arts and culture of Canton through podcasting. An interview with Jon Stucky, the artist who designed the interior of the Cleveland House of Blues, is up next. Visit http://www.GeneralCabbage.com. Share your thoughts on the new site at Letters@CoolCleveland.com.
• Case’s loss is Purdue’s gain The Center for Regional Development at Purdue University has appointed Ed Morrison, who formerly headed the Center for Regional Economic Issues at Case, to the position of Economic Policy Advisor. Morrison will assist the Center and the governor’s office in the areas of economic development and workforce development. He will also help the Center design and implement a $15 million U.S. Department of Labor Workforce Innovation in Regional Economic Development (WIRED) grant. Learn more here. What are your thoughts on Morrison going to Purdue? Letters@CoolCleveland.com.
• Cool Cleveland Kids Our podcast takes the guesswork out of planning events for your family. With a hint from 10-year-old Cool Cleveland correspondent Max Mulready who has scoured the Internet looking for a few good events to recommend, identifying kid-friendly events is a cinch. Hear his short podcast here even if you don’t have special software. If you’re a whiz kid, you can download it to your iPod or your computer and listen with your own kid. Check below to see the events tagged CC KIDS under Cool Cleveland This Week for our recommendations for a fantastic family week. http://www.coolcleveland.com/files/audio/CoolClevelandKids05.12.06.mp3. Adding this link to your program that catches podcasts, will keep you up-to-date on the latest audio.
• Get involved with Ingenuity Last year’s inaugural Ingenuity Art & Technology Festival was a resounding success. The four-day explosion of local arts and technology put Cleveland’s best foot forward – showcasing our rich arts community; fostering collaboration between a variety of organizations and showcasing local technology. Artists of all mediums can get in on the action during this year’s event, from Thu 7/13 to Sun 7/16 , by attending the Ingenuity Festival Technology Showcase on Thu 5/11 from 7-9PM at Cleveland State University in University Center Room 1, 2121 Euclid Avenue. Email questions to Mark@IngenuityCleveland.org. http://www.IngenuityCleveland.com.
• Exclusive Offer: Half Off Tickets for CC Readers ONLY Check out the Dance Synergy Festival on Sat 5/13 with half price tickets! Score regular price $25 tix for only $12.50 each with your online order, only through Cool Cleveland here. The festival will showcase the three top physically integrated dance companies: “Dancing Wheels” of Cleveland, “AXIS Dance Company” of Oakland, CA, and “Full Radius Dance” of Atlanta. Or go to www.DancingWheels.com for more info.

Emissions from the blogsphere Chas Rich thinks people who use earbuds to listen to their iPod while driving are idiots. Tim Russo wonders about the rationale behind the innerbelt project. Roger Bundy advises residents of Old South Brooklyn to plan their occupied structure fires for Tuesday or Thursday, when their fire station is staffed. Tina Vance thinks Cleveland’s beat is less top-40, more the Pogues. Check the Cool Cleveland weblog here, where Peter Chakerian succumbs to the “dry heat” and deadly quiet downtown Saturday night in Phoenix, Arizona. When your through, add your own comments, questions and attitude. Letters@CoolCleveland.com.

Cool Cleveland This Week
5.10-5.17

Send your cool events to: Events@CoolCleveland.com

Standing Rock Battle of the Bands is in full force with an incredible line up of bands that are ready to make a splash on the music scene. Visit http://www.BattleOfStandingRock.com for a complete list of the who’s who on the independent music scene here in Northeast Ohio and a complete event schedule, including venues for this incredible competition running now through Fri 5/26.

HOT PICK FusionFest Catch staged readings of Lunacy by Sandra Perlman on Wed 5/10 at 7:30PM; Sam and Lucy by Brooke Berman on Thu 5/11 at 7:30PM or A World Beneath by Neena Beber on Wed 5/17 at 7:30PM. Hear Astrid Hadad on Fri 5/12 and Sat 5/13 at 7:30PM and Church House Rocks on Fri 5/12 at 9:30PM.Visit www.ClevelandPlayHouse.com for info and tickets. Cleveland Play House, 8500 Euclid Avenue.

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Eye Contact/Century to Century Over the past century, millions of people have immigrated to the United States, but few have been given a chance to share their story. Where did they come from? Why did they leave? Artist Pamela Heller gives a voice to 16 Jewish immigrants who came to Cleveland over the last century to escape religious persecution in their homelands. The exhibit features a 40-minute video that highlights each immigrant’s experience, as well as a combination of photographic images and mixed media. The show runs Thu 5/11 through Sat 6/3. The gallery is open Thursdays and Fridays from 10AM – 5PM and Saturdays from 12-4PM. An opening reception will be held on Fri 5/19 from 5-7PM. Cleveland State Art Gallery, 2307 Chester Avenue.

Music Practice: The Business of Being a Professional Musical Artist How do you make it as a musician? Talent, passion and practice, of course. But what about the practical side – how do you get your name out there, plan for the future, finance your equipment and get insurance? No matter what point you are at in your career, it takes practice. Join a discussion of the business side of being a working musical artist on Thu 5/11 from 2-4PM. Register here for this no-cost event. Severance Hall in the Jennings Room, 11001 Euclid Avenue.

HOT PICK Effective Techniques to Get Recognized by the Media I personally wish more of Cleveland’s fine organizations would ramp up their media relations. Even with Cool Cleveland hungering each week for the great stories, it’s silly how many groups can’t get it across to the media. This Thu 5/11 event from 5:30 – 7:30PM is designed to give you the inside scoop on what’s newsworthy and what pitching methods work with the local media. Panelists will discuss how to find new and creative story angles; how to get access and create lasting relationships with your media contacts; proven methods on how to successfully approach, pitch and follow-up. Call 771-5182 or register online by clicking here. The City Club of Cleveland, 850 Euclid Avenue.

EVENTS Listing Tip of the Week TMI – Don’t send an encyclopedia when a postcard will do the trick. Include all of the essential information in your event submission; then make sure you’ve sold us on your event by telling us what is so cool and unique about it. However, resumes for each band member, dental histories and transcripts aren’t necessary. We’ll take your word for it. Keep those uber cool events, important civic meetings and empowering business workshops coming at us. Send them to Events@CoolCleveland.com.

Portfolio Magazine Open House These days everyone needs a portfolio. Portfolio Magazine Online (PMO) launched a site that will give college students seeking job opportunities, and high-school students preparing for their college search, the ability to build an impressive online portfolio – and it won’t cost a dime. Attend their open house celebration on Star Plaza on Thu 5/11 from 6-8PM and eat, drink and mingle with young professionals and local business leaders. Visit http://www.PortfolioMagazineOnline.com to learn more and to set up your very own online portfolio. Star Plaza, 1302 Euclid Avenue.

Ingenuity Technology Showcase co-hosted by NorTech, the Community Partnership for Arts and Culture, the COSE Arts Network and the Convention and Visitors Bureau of Greater Cleveland, invites all artists to meet with local tech companies and start a collaborative dialogue that will (hopefully) lead to cool art-tech projects that can be showcased in future editions of the Ingenuity Festival of Art and Technology. Stop by on Thu 5/11 from 7-9PM at CSU University Center, 2121 Euclid Avenue, Classroom UC-1 and join the discussion. To register, call Mark Liang, 589-9444 or Mark@IngenuityCleveland.com.

Center for Families and Children Happy Hour Young, hip professionals from across our region will have a blast at the next CFC Young Directors Happy Hour on Thu 5/11 from 6-8PM. Grab a pal and get over to ZaZa for the 6PM kick-off and get the complete 411 on how your enthusiasm, energy and talent can skyrocket your career and make a mark in the lives of children. Call 522-0020 or visit http://www.ZaZaFoodAndDrink.com for more info. ZaZa Food & Drink, 13897 Cedar Road, South Euclid.

2006 Tasteful Affair Scene Magazine will host more than 20 restaurants that are sure to entice even the pickiest of palettes with global delights during this event on Thu 5/11 from 6:30-9:30PM. The tasty treats can be washed down with samplings from Heineken, Jacob’s Creek wines, Stolichnaya and Vitamin Water. Entertainment includes the Madison Crawl barrelhouse boogie band and the vintage automobiles and aircraft displays. For tickets call 721-5722 x445 or visit http://www.CleveScene.com/taste. Crawford Auto-Aviation Museum, 10825 East Boulevard, University Circle.

CO: The Maazel Years Giancarlo Guerrero steps in to lead the Cleveland Orchestra for an ailing Loren Maazel, as they perform Maazel’s symphonic “Ring Without Words” including The Ride of the Valkyries, Siegfried’s Funeral March, and Brunnhilde’s Immolation Scene. Attend the Concert Previews on Thu 5/11, Fri 5/12 and Sat 5/13 at 8PM or the Prelude Concert on Sun 5/14 at 3PM. www.ClevelandOrchestra.com. Severance Hall.

WCLVnotes This Fri 5/11 WCLV 104.9 will present an all-day salute to the Cleveland Institute of Music, which will also be holding an open house so people can see the progress being made in the new construction. The station will broadcast from CIM from 9:30AM to 8:45PM with regular live performances by students and faculty. Also Cavani Quartet cellist Merry Peckham, host of the WCLV/CIM program “Offbeat,” will take a roving microphone to the construction site and talk to the people actually building the new facilities. Sounds like fun. Tune in. Details on all of WCLV’s programming can be found in the WCLV Program Guide pages of WCLV’s web site – www.wclv.com.

Spring into Fitness for a Rainbow of Health is a health fair and fitness event to benefit Rainbow Babies and Children’s Hospital on Fri 5/12. The event runs all day, from 9AM to 7PM, so no excuses. There will be something for everyone at this event which includes a co-ed volleyball tournament; men’s and women’s 3-on-3 basketball; a 3-point contest (no Detroit Pistons allowed); a “hotshot contest” and a Fun Run/Walk. There will be prizes, raffle baskets and tons of giveaways. Call 368-1121 or email onetoone@case.edu to get in on the action. www.case.edu.

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The Party of the Year No Speeches, No tuxes… It’s Only Rock and Roll is an event that will have the joint rockin’ on Fri 5/12. Sponsor-level attendees get in at 6:30PM and entertainment only ticket holders join the party at 7:30PM. Hear Don Felder of the Eagles, Terry Johnson’s Flamingos, Eddie Money, Naughty by Nature, The Romantics, Sam the Sham, Sam Valentino of the Beau Brummels, War and Jodie Watley. Nuff said! Get your tickets by calling 241-5555. Rock Hall. www.RockHall.com.

CC KIDS Tri-C West Student Show The Tri-C Western Campus Visual Communication & Design Student Show heads downtown to the Galleria. Meet talented graphic designers, web designers, illustrators, production artists and other creative professionals who are piping hot, fresh from the oven and waiting to make their mark on your team. Meet them on Fri 5/12 from 5-8PM and Sat 5/13 from 12-6PM. Gallery 324, 1301 East 9th Street. http://www.FillInYourBlank.com.

Cooking for the Arts Sample savory culinary offerings by leading area women whose talents shine as brightly in the kitchen as they do in the boardroom or courtroom. These groundbreaking women lead the way in their respective fields, while never forgetting to give back to their communities. Volunteer chefs Jacqueline Nance, Esq., Alexandria Johnson Boone, DeShawn Snow, wife of Cleveland Cavaliers Point Guard Eric Snow; Kim Johnson, Program Director and on-air personality at 93-FM WZAK; Judge Sandra L. Walker, East Cleveland Municipal Court; Cleveland Councilwoman Sabra Pierce-Scott and many others will prepare a buffet of main dishes, desserts, appetizers and other delectable treats to benefit the arts on Fri 5/12 from 5:30-9PM. Call 791-2437 or visit http://www.SankofaFineArtPlus.org for tickets. Trinity Cathedral, 2230 Euclid Avenue.

The Fellowship Show Sixteen area artists will display works varying from paintings and drawings to sculpture and photography beginning with an opening reception on Fri 5/12 from 6-10PM. This group of “Cleveland Impressionists” range from local emerging painters to nationally known artists from The Cleveland Museum of Art. DJ Plasticefx will create the mood on the turntables. Tasty hors d’oeuvres and cocktails will be available. The Doubting Thomas Gallery.

HOT PICK Thamos, King of Egypt Witness the first-ever performance of this Opera Circle World Premiere, a spectacle centered around music by internationally-renowned contemporary Egyptian composer Halim El-Dabh of Kent, on Fri 5/12, Fri 5/19 and Sat 5/20 at 8PM. Incorporating a 35-minute fragment of music by Mozart, the new work will feature soloists, costumes, chorus, full orchestra, choreography, supertitles, & sets in an experimental & open form that combines elements of opera, oratorio, ballet, theatre, & the visual arts. Call 441-2822 for info. http://www.OperaCircle.org. Shrine Church of St. Stanislaus, 3649 East 65th Street.

HOT PICK The Latino Fashion Show As Cleveland Fashion Week continues, you are invited to join a celebration of the rich and diverse latino culture through an evening of Latin music, dance, culinary delights, fashion and style on Fri 5/12 at 8PM. Salsa to the sounds of the Bio Ritmo Salsa Machine, see a Latin dance performance by Gordon and Anja Kwan, sip Bacardi powered Mojitos and groove to the inspiration of DJ Benny Valez. Club Moda, 1871 West 25th Street, Ohio City. http://www.TropicalCleveland.com.

HOT PICK Pistola, Flat Can Co & Blush will rock the house at the Beachland Tavern on Fri 5/12 at 10PM. Pistola, from the depths of Manhattan’s Lower East Side will offer up uncompromising doses of heavy riffing. Local faves, The Flat Can Co is bursting at the seams with Cleveland rock mainstays – Miss Melvis, the Pickering brothers and Jimmy D. The Rust Records spawn, Blush, whose music has been featured on high-profile shows like MTV’s Tough Enough and ABC’s, Eight Simple Rules, will be making their Beachland debut. Don’t miss this evening of ladies who rock. Get your tickets at www.BeachlandBallroom.com. Beachland Tavern, 15711 Waterloo Road.

Do You Like it Rough? If so, you must like the news, opinions and ruffled fathers we deliver each week. Feel free to help our mission and forward this to some of your like-minded friends.

Walk for Hunger Rev up your walking shoes and get ready to fight hunger with your feet during the 18th annual Walk for Hunger on Sat 5/13. The event opens at 8:45AM; the walk begins at 9:45AM. Visit www.HungerNetwork.org to find out how hundreds of Cleveland’s children risk hunger through the summer without your support. Call 619-8155 ext. 18 today to get in on the free breakfast, live entertainment and more along the downtown walking tour that makes a difference. Burke Lakefront Airport.

HOT PICK COSE Arts Network Join representatives from The Community Partnership for Arts and Culture and The COSE Arts Network to discuss how you can utilize COSE’s unique new program. The COSE Arts Network has made health care and professional development resources more accessible to the arts entrepreneurs of Northeast Ohio. This program creates an opportunity for the arts and business worlds to intersect through educational and networking events, access to resources and unique promotional opportunities. Attend the Sat 5/13 meeting from 10-11:30AM for a synopsis of how this program can help you achieve your artistic and business goals. Call 575-0331 or register here. The Oberlin Depot, 240 South Main Street, Oberlin.

Meet Artist Sean Crum Discuss technique, theory and style with the etcher, art teacher, art historian and musician whose work has been featured in Cleveland Magazine, The Plain Dealer, and WKYC. The event is on Sat 5/13 from 1-3PM at Utrecht Art Supplies, 1798 Coventry Road, Cleveland Heights.

A Mother’s Work The show, which addresses the issues surrounding domestic violence, features the work of “mother artists”: Anne Adams, Joan of Art, Mary Ann Breisch, Yvonne Bakale, Alice Butts, Mother Dwarf, Laureen Deveney, Pat Fallon, Meg Garbincus, Mary Weimer Green, Linda Herman, Lisa Jevack, Mary Presti McCain, Jennifer Novitski, Jacqueline Parsons, Nancy Prudic, Kathleen Marie Sonnhalter, Beth Wolfe and Linda Zolten Wood. The show kicks off with an opening night benefit, which includes refreshments, live music and a silent auction, on Sat 5/13 from 6-11PM. Proceeds will benefit the Cleveland Domestic Violence Center. Call 688-7296 for tickets. True Art Gallery, 410 E. 156th Street, North Collinwood.

HOT PICK Dance Synergy Experience the power and beauty of the human spirit through innovative dance at America’s first national touring physically integrated dance festival. It is a performance that lifts the human spirit. Three amazing dance companies from Cleveland, Oakland and Atlanta join to celebrate 25 years of physically integrated dance in America. This intriguing and ingenious synergistic explosion of imaginative dance happens on Sat 5/13 at 7:30PM. Call 241-6000 for tickets. Allen Theatre at Playhouse Square. http://www.DancingWheels.org.

The Jack Fords, Doug McKean, The Stuntmen The Jack Fords are releasing their debut CD, Bent Outta Shape on Sat 5/13 at 9:30PM at The Beachland Tavern. The CD was recorded live at the Town Fryer 2/25/06 in front of the band’s loyal local following. Doug McKean and The Stuntmen will open the show. Get tickets at www.BeachlandBallroom.com. Beachland Tavern, 15711 Waterloo Road.

CC KIDS Arts Collinwood Art & Drama Camp Young Thespians, age five to twelve will enjoy this exciting art and drama camp, which runs for six weeks, from Tue 6/13 to Thu 7/20 and will get to participate in the Waterloo Art Festival. Register your cool and creative kids for just one week, or all six. Register by the Sun 5/14 deadline for a substantial savings. Call 692-9500 for info or a brochure. The camps run Tuesdays through Thursdays from 9AM – 12PM at St John’s Lodge, 15812 Waterloo Road. http://www.ArtsCollinwood.org.

CC KIDS A Wild Mother’s Day Kids can bring their Moms to the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo on Sun 5/14 starting at 10AM for a fun-filled day. Watch your favorite wild animals engaging in some curious parenting behaviors and greet some of the Zoo’s latest arrivals. Do Mom an extra-special favor and ask your second favorite grown-up for a bit of a cash infusion, then have them call 398-5750, Ext. 12 to make reservations for a tasty brunch featuring a wide selection of breakfast foods, fruits and pastries. Cleveland Metroparks Zoo. www.clemetzoo.com.

Mother’s Day Walking Tour A great way to share the day with Mom. Stroll through Lake View Cemetery with Vicki Vigil, local author, and learn about the famous women who helped develop the Western Reserve. Call 421-2665, x 3035 to reserve your spot for the Sun 5/14 2PM event.

Sustainable Landscape Design Learn about High Performance Landscapes on Tue 5/16 from 5:30 – 8:30PM during this event hosted by Entrepreneurs for Sustainability. Learn how to take your triple bottom line implementation outside of your company’s walls. You’ll discover how to mow less, pave less, water less and use less chemicals to save more money and create a healthier work place and community. There is no cost for the event. Register here or call 451-7755. Great Lakes Brewing Company, Tasting Room, 2701 Carroll Avenue.

Interaction 2006 Don’t miss the most important marketing conference between New York and Chicago on Tue 5/16 from 8:30AM to 5PM. The event features a full day of leading edge breakout sessions and keynote speakers that will help you gain a deeper relationship with your current customers while also working to build your business by gaining new clients. Conference fee includes breakout sessions, continental breakfast, lunch, a cocktails/awards reception and exhibit hall. Visit http://www.interaction2006.com to learn more. The University of Akron campus, Akron.

Managing the Message Media Relations and Crisis Communications will help non-profit organizations prepare for that inevitable reporter call. There might be a hot news story on which you have some expertise, or there might be rumors or information circulating about your organization or clients. Each call represents an opportunity. Knowing how to handle the call or visit is a necessary skill for nonprofit leaders and executive directors. Learn about interview techniques, how to control the message and how to handle the “ambush” interview. Visit www.BusinessVolunteers.org to register for the Tue 5/16 half-day event, from 9AM to 12PM. Lorain County Community College, Spitzer Conference Center, 1005 North Abbe Road, Elyria.

Send your cool events to: Events@CoolCleveland.com

Who Are You?
This week’s topic: Marital Status (Deodorant and Foghat)
Part Three of a Three Part Series where
Cleveland’s Leading Satirist Tells You All About Yourself

70% of you are married. This equates roughly to the readership of “Cool Afghanistan”, an admittedly shorter publication put out by a thirteen year old named Mullah Tommy from the lush suburbs of Kandahar. Recent editions have featured the new arrivals at “Dagger Gap Kids” and a gala opening at “The Rumsfeld Gallery” which showcased sculptures made entirely of mud, opium and unexploded land mines.

Roughly 9,000 of you are unmarried, and thus can get away with more. For example, you can fill your bathroom with your own personal hygiene products, and with impunity. This is a key element of the whole “single” lifestyle. No one can tell you that your deodorant smells like the pre-death desperation mating scent of lemurs, or force you to discover the subtle gum and hemorrhoid-decreasing nature of the new “Oil of Old-Lady” toothpaste.

Those of you who are married know the infinite power of compromise. You will agree to always put the toilet seat in its natural locked-down position, as long as your mate agrees to never make “Ham and Pea Tuna Bake” again. You are inter-dependent, and therefore must consider the feelings of your significantly different other.

If you are single and considering marriage, consider the following guidelines:

When “hitched”, you are required to check in occasionally. The usual frequency is three times per day. Your partner must know in real time that you are in the jelly section of the “Giant Eagle” considering the daring purchase of “preserves” versus “jam”.

The great epiphanies you have during Happy Hour with your friends have no meaning to your spouse. Deciding to create a Foghat cover band called “Cloud Cap” after eighty eight ounces of stout will not exponentially deepen your relationship.

Divorce is costly. If you continually get married, divorced, and lose half your stuff each time, you will eventually have a small fraction of your stuff, which would typically consist of that picture of your Uncle Gus dressed like a buffalo, and $48 in nickels.

Now you know.

Note: In this series we have tackled the heady topics of age, educational attainment and marital status. We hope you all now know everything about who you are. If you have any additional questions, please beseech your assigned God. She’ll have the answers.

From Cool Cleveland contributor Clyde Miles clyde.milesATgmail.com

Opinion/Commentary
Cool Cleveland Comment
Whiskey Island: Will it be Bulk or Beautiful?
by Peter R. Griesinger

With the Port Authority once again declaring that they intend to purchase (or take?) the Whiskey Island Marina from Cuyahoga County for bulk stone storage, we are faced with yet another counterintuitive, myopic attempt to wrest away from the citizens of Northeast Ohio one of the best chances that we have had in decades to define ourselves as one of the great freshwater destinations in the nation.

In an age of profoundly competitive and dedicated international efforts to improve and restore any one region’s natural capital assets, it is inexcusable to pretend that the Port’s ‘expedient’ industrial plan to bury an existing lakefront marina with piles of stone trumps the aesthetic, recreational, social, environmental, and economic values that all three Whiskey Island properties, together, bring to our region. The 500 boat Whiskey Island Marina, the uniquely spectacular 20 acre Wendy Park, and the historic art-moderne Coast Guard Station are for real, not pretend. They are the VERY place in downtown Cleveland where we can escape to the lake; where we can relax, picnic, and play; where we can sail, motor, or paddle a boat; and where, most of all, we can simply refresh and recharge in an atmosphere of spectacular scenic lore and beauty.

For the estimated 30 million dollars that the Port would have to spend to convert the marina into an industrial bulk stone facility, we could restore ALL of the properties on Whiskey Island AND do a bold, Cleveland first…
Read the comment by Peter R. Griesinger here

Cool Cleveland Preview
Giancarlo Guerrero and The ‘Ring’ Without Words

By all indications, this should be the perfect orchestra concert for a lot of people to attend. The Cleveland Orchestra at any time is a major treat, but this combination of orchestra, conductor, music and weather should cover all the bases with no trouble. Giancarlo Guerrero makes his Cleveland Orchestra debut leading the Orchestra in this weekend’s performances, and he’s bringing along one of his show-stopper additions to the orchestral repertoire. He didn’t write the music originally, mind you, he just condensed and arranged it.

Richard Wagner’s operatic cycle of four operas—The Ring of the Nibelung—for which he composed the music, the lyrics and the book, is generally considered the greatest artistic achievement ever, by one person. I was brought up on this music, and to me, it has everything; great love stories, adventure, heroes and heroines and villains that are larger than life, all displayed amid the most beautiful—and sensuous—music ever written. Of course, the entire cycle of four operas takes something more than 18½ hours for complete performances, which can be a bit daunting. In 1988, Maazel took twenty of the main themes and seamlessly wove them together into one longer segment of perhaps 75 minutes, with every note by Wagner. It’s played without intermission, as on the CD issued by Cleveland’s own Telarc Records.

To be sure, not everyone loves operatic singing, so if that’s been holding you back, you now have no excuse. This is only orchestral music, no singing. It’s just wonderfully lush, aurally and visually evocative music, telling a story as only it can. So what does the weather have to do with it? It’s spring! Romantic music goes very well with spring. Try it for yourself.
From Cool Cleveland contributor Kelly Ferjutz artswriterATadelphia.net

Instant Karma
Quick reviews of recent events
Going out this weekend? Take along your PDA and your digital camera. Scratch out a few notes to send us with a picture of it for our Instant Karma real-world reviews of what’s really happening. We’d love to hear from you. Send your stuff to Events@CoolCleveland.com

Chang and Eichhorn @ CSU 5/2 Cleveland is so rich in music. Almost any night of the week, one can hear transcendent music-making in our community, by incredibly gifted musicians including members of the Cleveland Orchestra, indulging in their love of chamber music. Furthermore, a good many of these programs have no admission charge. Such a recital as was presented in the warm ambiance of Drinko Recital Hall last week would have set you back at least $50. in New York or some other music capital. But here? Free. And, it was marvelous!

Angelin Chang is Coordinator of Keyboard Studies and Coordinator for Chamber Music at Cleveland State University. Eric Eichhorn is usually found in the fifth chair of the first violin section of The Cleveland Orchestra, or he may be teaching at CSU. Or elsewhere. He is also an active chamber musician, so you could hardly go wrong attending a recital that featured these two impressive musicians…
Read the review by Kelly Ferjutz here

Custody of the Eyes @ Cleveland Play House 5/3 There are a lot of things to like in this new play, but at the same time there are things that could be left out or should be added in, or just clarified, maybe. It is by turns brash, irreverent, brutal and demonstrates all too well the hold on society by the pop culture of today.

Playwright (and novelist) Anthony Giardina has set his play Custody of the Eyes in a series of short vignettes that happen not only in different places, but also different times. It is the latter that is the most confusing. The former benefits greatly from a handsome and interesting set designed by Russell Parkman, in which both sides of the stage are confined by a sliding wooden arc of a wall (much like the larger one that defines the stage at Blossom.) With the use of minimal set pieces, the stage becomes a ferry boat, various locations at the Catholic Church in the island community including the garden, and the apartment of the young woman who is—intentionally or inadvertently—the catalyst for the action…
Read the review by Kelly Ferjutz here

This Is Our Youth @ Night Kitchen 5/5
What: Kenneth Lonergan’s exquisitely observed comedy/drama of two 20-something stoner dudes and a girl in the Reagan 80’s. Compassionate, funny and utterly involving, it’s one of the best plays and productions of the season.
Reasons to go: This intimate show, deftly directed by Jeremy Paul and beautifully performed, makes you feel like you are overhearing real life. Tom White, one of Cleveland’s most promising actors, is breathtakingly natural as Warren, who seems to exude a cloud of misery even as he works like hell to be upbeat. As his grandiose drug dealer pal Dennis, Evan Kondilas makes his manic tirades hilarious; their best friend chemistry is spot-on. Madaline Jones’ awkward, true performance as Warren’s hook-up is terrific — it’s incredible that she’s a high school senior. From the ratty apartment set to the funky props, it’s such a keenly observed vision of post-adolescent angst, it’s likely to give you flashbacks. And at $8 a ticket ($5 for students)? You’d have to be crazy to miss this one.
Backstory: The Night Kitchen has co-produced this with L.E.S.S. Productions, and it’s an ideal collaboration — two young companies with talented artists and similar visions. L.E.S.S. — where White and Kondilas are founding members — produced the delightful “Matt & Ben” last year, with White channeling the egocentric bad-boy Ben Affleck, a 180 degree turn from his current role. Seeing actors who are the right ages for their roles makes this especially effective.
Target audience: Anybody who wants a special, funny, up-close-and-personal theater experience should see it — but especially the young, those who love the young, and those who remember the pain of being young.
Details: Pilgrim Congregational Church, W. 14th & Starkweather, Tremont. 216-932-3396. Thru 5/21. http://www.nightkitchentheatre.org
from Cool Cleveland contributor Linda Eisenstein lindaATcoolcleveland.com

The Tyrant @ CPH FusionFest 5/6
What: A contemporary opera for solo voice and 6-piece chamber ensemble, in which a tyrant contemplates his 20 years of rule — and isolation — in a palace which resembles a cage.
Reasons to go: Looking a bit like a wild-eyed Saddam Hussein, tenor John Duykers makes the eponymous tyrant a grandiose but pathetic creature, a man broken by his self-imposed isolation and paranoia. Composer Paul Dresher & librettist Jim Lewis have given him what amounts to nearly an hour-length mad scene, and Duykers’ strong performance is what keeps you riveted. Live black-and-white video, reminiscent of surveillance cameras, multiplies the image and heightens the effect of isolation.
Caveats: Between the harshly dramatic music — where the orchestral ensemble has more melodies than the soloist — and an existentially bleak story, “The Tyrant” isn’t a crowd-pleaser. But it’s an effective production, featuring a memorable performance.
Backstory: Composer Dresher calls tenor John Duykers “probably one of the most enduring supporters of my work (besides my mother).” This experimental solo work, written for Duykers, has been seen in Seattle, Philadelphia, and Los Angeles, then gone into rewrite/expansion with the help of OPERA America. This is the premiere of the revised work.
Target audience: Lovers of the new.
Details: Cleveland Opera & Cleveland Play House, FusionFest, http://www.clevelandplayhouse.com
from Cool Cleveland contributor Linda Eisenstein LindaATcoolcleveland.com

West Shore Chorale & Orchestra @ the Magnificat Center 5/7 Nearly 40 years ago, a group of singers banded together with the intention of performing masterworks of choral music. How well they have succeeded! They’ve had the same conductor now for some 22 years, and have expanded to include an orchestra.

Sunday evening, the new Magnificat Center for the Performing Arts in Rocky River was the venue for a concert of sacred music of Anton Bruckner, J.S. Bach and Heinrich Schutz, as performed by The West Shore Chorale & Orchestra, all conducted by John Drotleff.

If you’re unfamiliar with this organization, some 70 singers form the non-professional but well-trained chorus. The orchestra, on the other hand, consists primarily of local professional musicians, whose names will be familiar to Cleveland concert/opera attendees. Even in reduced numbers, as for this performance, they provide a sturdy foundation for the less-experienced singers…
Read the review by Kelly Ferjutz here

Yr Turn
Cool Cleveland readers write
We encourage our readers to speak out by sending us letters and commentary. Send your letters to Letters@CoolCleveland.com. You must include your full name (required) and you may include your e-mail address (optional). You may also create a new Hotmail, Yahoo or Gmail e-mail address and submit it with your letter. Letters submitted to Cool Cleveland, or edited portions, may be published in an upcoming issue of Cool Cleveland at our discretion.

Send your letters to: Letters@CoolCleveland.com

On getting our large non-profits paying taxes (See Why don’t our huge non-profits pay taxes? here) I think the program that Rokakis has proposed is long overdue. The school system needs all the revenue it can get, and the PILOT program is definitely a step in the right direction. These large corporations that are targeted in the program utilize city services in many different ways but are exempt from the ever important property tax due to the current system in place. In relation to the article, with many corporations reducing size or relocating, the city is increasingly going to have to focus on alternative ways to generate tax revenues. I am all for the program that other cities like Boston and Pittsburgh have in place.
from Cool Cleveland reader Kevin O’Shea kyosheaAThotmail.com

On Cleveland’s water deal with the suburbs (See Regionalizing schools, water and our future here) To paraphrase My Fair Lady, “I think that Jackson has got it, I really think he has …” I had very low expectations after the election because Jackson was so quiet and low-key, yet he is making moves that were needed 40 years ago and no one would ever touch politically. I have also noticed over the last three months that downtown seems to be also slowly coming back to life with new businesses moving in and more people out enjoying themselves. Euclid Avenue seems cleaner than it has been in a few years and there seems to be development activity humming in University Circle. I guess sometimes the answers are obvious, cooperate on development, make the city cleaner and safer to attract people and business, go at things with some class.
from Cool Cleveland reader William R. Anderson BillATegcm.com

Cleveland should not sell its water in Portage County. It’s self-defeating! This move will just make it cheaper for developers to use prime agricultural and forest land to build expensive housing farther out from Cleveland. Let’s keep the incentives to REdevelop in Cuyahoga County. It makes economic sense!
from Cool Cleveland reader Kathleen L. Barber kbarber24@sbcglobal.net

Well, the deal to the suburbs sounds nice but why do the many POOR Cleveland residents have to see water bills go up 80% over the next few years!!?? Let the burbs pay for fixing the system. Just another reason for folks to flee Cleveland.
from Cool Cleveland reader Marc Goodman marc888ATcs.com

On Warren Zanes’ Exit Interview (See Cool Cleveland Exit Interview here) Jeez, despite trying repeatedly, David Budin just could not get Warren Zanes to bash Cleveland. We have seen the enemy, and he is us.
from Cool Cleveland reader Jonalyn Krupka jmkrupkaATatt.net

On Chu-Fang Huang (See CIM Orchestra @ Severance Hall 4/26 here) I must take strong exception to the review of Kelly Ferjutz’s review of the recent concert with Ms Huang. Ms Huang did a butcher job on the Saint-Saens. Just listen to the old recording of Rubinstein to hear how it should go. I, and many other, are still horrified that she won 1st prize at the 2005 Competition. Her solo recital at the Intercontinetal Hotel this past Winter proves how awful she is. Just ask ANYONE who was there!! Thanks for letting me vent.
from Cool Cleveland reader Marc Goodman marc888ATcs.com

A suggestion Here’s an easy way to beautify your space and a Cleveland neighborhood: Buy flats of annuals like petunias and impatiens at the annual Tremont Gardeners flower sale, Saturday, May 20 in Tremont’s Lincoln Park. The sale starts at 11 a.m., and flats are $9 (all flowers come from Petitti’s growers, and are being sold at a significant discount from what you’d pay at Petitti’s). All proceeds benefit ongoing beautification efforts in Lincoln Park.
from Cool Cleveland reader Sandy Smith slsmith819AThotmail.com

Thanks Cool Cleveland Thank you to CoolCleveland.com for all of your interesting articles and updates on what’s happening in town. I look forward to reading my issue every week because I always learn something new with each edition. I especially enjoyed the recent segments on “Favorite Bike Rides” and Rachel Ray’s visit with the Food Network. I also want to say kudos to the city for bringing Spiderman III to town. The production company left saying that being here was a great experience and that they would like to come back again sometime. I hope they pass the word along to Hollywood that we’re the nation’s best kept secret for movie making!
from Cool Cleveland reader Patti Derringer at31417ATyahoo.com

Send your letters to: Letters@CoolCleveland.com

Top 5
Here are the Top 5 from last week’s issue, with one more chance for you to click.

1) Election Results A nifty site by the Cuyahoga County Board of Elections. Unfortunately, the votes are still being counted.
boe.cuyahogacounty.us.

2) Ohio lost 204,308 jobs since 2000 A shocking report issued by the The Center for Community Solutions, the “literally brutal impact” of the recent recession is made clear.
www.CommunitySolutions.com.

3) Cool Cleveland Exit Interview David Budin talks to Warren Zanes as he moves on from the Rock Hall.
www.CoolCleveland.com.

4) RoldoLINK Sweeney, Jackson, and Council act disgraceful on the East Bank Flats Deal. Roldo offers a valuable counterpoint.
www.CoolCleveland.com.

5) Progressive to add 1000 jobs Our daily paper buries this story on page C4. In Cool Cleveland, it’s one of the most clicked.
www.Cleveland.com.

The Hard Corps deliver If you want it, Cool Cleveland’s Hard Corps of contributors got it. Thanks to Peter Chakerian, Roxanne Ravenel, TL Champion, George Nemeth, Linda Eisenstein, Kelly Ferjutz, Clyde Miles, and everyone who partners with us. Want to volunteer and contribute your writing to Cool Cleveland? Send your reviews, articles, or story ideas to: Events@CoolCleveland.com

Download the Cool Cleveland podcast each week at http://www.CoolCleveland.com. Click on the Cool Cleveland Blog here. Read the Cool Cleveland column each month in Cleveland Magazine here. Listen to Cool Cleveland on WCLV-FM 104.9 twice each Friday during drive time. Send your cool events to: Events@CoolCleveland.com, and your letters to: Letters@CoolCleveland.com. For your copy of the free weekly Cool Cleveland e-zine, go to http://www.CoolCleveland.com.

Here it is, come and get it,

–Thomas Mulready
Letters@CoolCleveland.com

all contents ©2006 MulreadyGROUP all rights reserved
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