THEATER REVIEW: “Altar Boyz” @ Porthouse Theatre by Roy Berko

Through Sun 8/15

What do Godspell, The Book of Mormon, Jesus Christ Superstar, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat and Altar Boyz have in common? Yes, they are all musical theater scripts.  Yes, they all have a religious theme. But they are not all of the same quality.

Godspell has some marvelous songs, fine opportunities for solos, and an emotionally wrenching ending.  The Book of Mormon is outrageously funny and has many catchy songs. Jesus Christ Superstar is powerful, with captivating music.  Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat is charming, and has a captivating score and many hummable songs. Altar Boyz, unfortunately, has a mundane score, a trite, often corny, script, and a preposterous ending.

Altar Boyz, a “comedy” with music and lyrics by Gary Adler and Michael Patrick Walker and book by Kevin Del Aguila, centers on a fictitious Christian boy band from Ohio.  (There are lots of local references in the dialogue. It intends to satirize the phenomenon of boy bands and the popularity of Christian-themed music.

We are supposedly watching as the boyz, Matthew (Elijah Lee King), Mark (Brandon Schumacker), Luke (Evan Waggoner), Juan (Antonio Emerson Brown), and Abraham (Devin Pfeiffer), with some help from G.O.D. (Rohn Thomas), perform “Raise the Praise,” the group’s last concert.

As they introduce themselves, through songs and sidebars, each establishes their unique “persona.”  Juan, the Hispanic (complete often with an embarrassing Latino accent), air-headed Luke who appears to have forgotten to take his ADD meds, Matthew, the group’s “stud” who gay Mark lusts after, and Abraham, the Jewish member of the group, wearing a large Star of David necklace, a Star of David yarmulka, and t-shirt with a Star of David on both the front and back (a little oversell, ya think?)

We learn of the group’s history and that their goal is to “cure” the burdened souls in the audience.  They do this via the “Soul Sensor DX-12,” a machine that detects sinners present. Their goal is to reduce the number on the machine to zero at the end of the concert.

Of course, after harassing several audience members and singing such non-classics as “Rhythm in Me,” “Church Rulez,” “The Miracle Song,” and “La Vida Eternal” for two acts, we are led to believe that the true sinners are the boyz themselves. (I told you this was no Dear Evan Hanson or even Jersey Boys.)

Fortunately for the Porthouse audiences, the production team that gave us the theater’s Man of La Mancha, One of the best musicals ever performed in this area, steers this production and saves the day.

The show is well staged by Terri Kent. Though the individual voices do not produce the best solos, (one exception is Brandon Schumacker’s “Epiphany”) and they sometimes hit wrong notes, the sound blends are on-key and the orchestra not only plays well but underscores rather than drowning out the performers. Thanks, musical director Jonathan Swoboda.

Martin Céspedes, considered by many to be the area’s premiere choreographer, outdoes himself in this show. He has incorporated signature dance styles from many Broadway shows and “borrowed” numerous boy band moves to take the show to the next level.

An umbrella (Singing in the Rain), a puppet (Chicago), and a line dance with extended and clasped hands (Fiddler on the Roof) are just a few of the images the creative man has incorporated into what could have been a bland evening. Throw in some hip hop and dance gymnastics, mix in a little Soul Train, and, you might forget the bad script and inane lyrics. You the man, Martin!

Ben Needham’s steel scaffold set with lots of crosses, including a large multi-colored lighted one slanted from the ceiling, added the perfect disco-ball effect.  Jason Potts’ lighting design, Parker Strong’s sound design and Michelle Hunt Souza’s costumes all added the overall effect.

Capsule Judgment: Altar Boyz has a weak script and score, but in the hands of the competent Kent/Cespedes/Swoboda combo, the Porthouse production is more than the material deserves. It’s worth the drive to the grounds at Blossom to see how to make a near “something” from a near “nothing.”

Altar Boyz runs at Porthouse Theatre through August 15. For performance information and tickets 330-672-3884 or go to porthousetheatre.com.

[Written by Roy Berko: member, Cleveland Critics Circle, American Theatre Critics Association]

 

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