Donald, don’t give up. Don’t quit. Please keep going into court and trying to stuff a square peg in a round hole. I’d tell you that shit ain’t going to fit dude — that is, if I wasn’t trying to get you to drop out, but I’m not. I want you to keep this three-ring circus going at least until, say, July 4th. I mean, we elected a clown, we deserve a goddamn circus! I want you to become a dancing bear.
Man, I haven’t this much fun since that time in Spanish Harlem — well, we’re not going to go into that — just let me just say it’s been a long time. And I don’t want this fun it to end. I enjoy seeing this piece of human pond scum twist and turn in the wind like a runaway slave at the end of a rope.
See, if you had human feelings of any kind, you would be too embarrassed to continue this stupid quest, but since you are without a soul, no matter how brutally my friends at CNN and MSNBC are beating on you (like you’re a redheaded step-child — like you’re a soon-to-be fugitive from justice), and it doesn’t bother you one bit. So stick around for awhile, will you? Look at it this way, why not let us have some more fun at your expense?
I mean, you’re going to go to your grave sincerely, truly believing that the election was somehow stolen from you — and so too will all of your cult-like followers, because that’s really what you truly believe; the artificial reality you make up to serve your purpose for the moment. See, a lot of people get it wrong about you; they think you just make up shit to entertain your base, but the fact is, you honestly believe in all of your lies — them too.
Specimens of your type of human being come along once every hundred or so years. Think: Machiavelli, Rasputin, Napoleon, Hitler, Pol Pot, and let us not forget Houdini and P.T. Barnum. I mean, dude, you’re a world-class grifter. You bankrupted not one but two casinos and suckers still gave you their money to play around with. You’re truly peerless.
Just to give the Devil its due, you’re the badest, straight-up, flat-foot conman the world has ever seen — and hope to never see again.
But don’t go anywhere just yet. You’ve spent your entire adult life telling which lawyer to go into which courtroom to get you the outcome you want. And 99 percent of the time things went your way. You almost always got what you wanted, even if it took years, nay, sometime decades, to finally wear down a hapless government lawyer, or simply wait until a prosecutor moved on to another position and your team wins the case because it fell through the cracks.
They say you’re a counterpuncher — but this time you’re fighting above your weight class. You’re in way over your head. Like Mike Tyson once said, “Everybody’s got a plan until they get busted in the mouth.”
You’ve been busted in the mouth and simply don’t know how to act, what to do, and the goddamn lawyers ain’t worth a pile of dog shit, right? Always blame someone else.
We know you’ve packed the Supreme Court, and that in your own fervid little mind, you seriously believe that you’re going to pull a rabbit out of the hat this one last time. But the hat is empty, hustler. You’re fresh outta tricks — you just don’t know it yet, and, maybe never will. But please don’t go just yet.
