Without a doubt, the sociopath currently occupying the White House ranks very high among the world’s all-time greatest liars, yet he still is trailing Joe Biden in the polls. What he needs to do is, instead of continuing to lie, he should pivot and tell the truth for a change. His base will love him for doing so and he just might attract additional voters that currently are on the fence.
He could start from the beginning by setting the record straight in regards to the remarks he was caught on-air making to Billy Bush, the one about grabbing women by their pussies. His new, truthful response would be, “Yeah, I grabbed every woman I could corner by their pussies, why the hell do you think I bought a beauty pageant? I tried to grab my own daughters down there but they were too clever to allow themselves to ever be alone in a room with me. My youngest daughter Tiffany, she’s as slippery as an eel.”
His base would go wild — they’d eat it up with a spoon. “Wow,” they’d say, “he’s the bravest man on the planet for owning up to the truth! Biden did the same thing to women, but he’s not man enough to admit it, but our guy is, how heroic!”
Then he could correct the record about his company being sued by the federal government for directing his apartment managers to refuse to rent to minorities back in the 70s. “Let’s be honest folks,” the charlatan could say. “You wouldn’t want blacks and Hispanics living next door to you either, now would you? I did it to protect property values and the daughters of the white tenants.”
Again, his base would go bonkers, since they’re just as racist as he is. Plus, he would attract a goodly number of undecided white voters with his newfound honesty, not to mention swaying some black voters who also don’t like to live next door to people who look like them. “Yeah, I can dig it,” Uncle Tom Ben Carson could chime in, “I’ve been trying all of my life to get away from people who look like me. I hate them.”
As for the border wall, tRump could fess up and say, “I’ve always known that immigration across our southern border was an issue that had already been adequately addressed by previous administrations. But I also knew, similar to Hitler using the Jews, that I had to find some group for my small-minded followers to focus their hate on. That’s what leaders like me always do. The simple truth is, I don’t hate migrants from these countries anymore than I hate anyone else who isn’t extremely wealthy, including all of you losers.”
His followers will give him a standing ovation upon his making these remarks, while saying to each other, “See, he’s just the man we need for the job since he’s so brilliantly clever. Biden couldn’t have thought up something like this; he’s not bright enough.”
Ending up his confessions, the bullshit artist could finally tell the truth about his response to the coronavirus: “The reason I lied about the pandemic is because I knew that if I didn’t tell the truth the virus would spread and more people would die, which means that the stock me and my family own in all of the pharmaceutical companies will go through to roof because of the need for a vaccine. Just look at their stock prices today! Booteful.”
Turning to his wife, a simpleton in the crowd wearing a MAGA hat would, with tears in his eyes, say, “No one but Donald Trump could have thought of something like that, you have to give him credit. That’s why we have to reelect this great, brilliant man — even if it costs all of us our lives and those of our children.”
Nothing works like the truth, right?
From CoolCleveland correspondent Mansfield B. Frazier mansfieldfATgmail.com. Frazier’s From Behind The Wall: Commentary on Crime, Punishment, Race and the Underclass by a Prison Inmate is available in hardback. Snag your copy and have it signed by the author at http://NeighborhoodSolutionsIn
One Response to “MANSFIELD: How tRump Can Win: By Telling the Truth”
Peter Lawson Jones
Love it! I’m a big fan of creative satire! Thanks, Mansfield.