By Hollie Gibbs
Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines…
And prepare to launch into a full pedal in the only race where even the winners are losers as the fifth annual Big Race kicks off Sun 9/16, on the race path at the north end of West 65th going under the tracks.
The gravelly rumble of plastic tires will fill the streets. Blood may fly, and tattooed appendages will most certainly flail as the race pits friend against friend for bragging rights in an event that is anything but serious.
Adult racers compete in three categories:
Big Wheels – standard “stock” big wheels without rubber tires or motors
Skateboards – hand pushed coffin rides (no kneeling or sitting)
Open Division – heavily modified big wheels or custom wheeled ride-on toys without motors (show-offs only)
This year, the rain or shine event will be better than ever, as water balloon wielding children are encouraged to chase gorilla suit clad adults riding little girl’s tricycles adorned with skull hood ornaments, pelting them as they lose their balance.
“The Big Race was originally just a big wheel race with grownups dressing up and having fun,” Public Square Group President Vince Frantz explained. “Some bartenders from the Spitfire Saloon did the first two in Cleveland (in 2008 and 2009). Stosh Burgess, the owner of the Spitfire Saloon, saw that the event could be much bigger, and coffin racing could be added. Being a Public Square Group (PSG) board member, he thought the event could be best served if it had better organizers and sponsors. In 2010, Stosh asked PSG if they would be interested in taking over the event. Since then, the Big Race has grown every year in size, radness and creativity.”
Steve Eggs has participated in the race every year since its 2008 inaugural run, where he took first place. He returned in 2009 to once again come in first; however, the last two years have seen him eke out embarrassing second place finishes.
“If you want to win the Big Wheel Race, you need three things,” he said. “You need to be small, fast and DUMB. I fit those three molds.”
Having used the same big wheel for all four races, Steve said some people refuse to rest on such laurels. “There are lots and lots of new, clever looking big wheels every year.”
Vince agrees. “The Open Division has some of the most insane mutated driveway toys you could imagine,” he said. “My favorite has to be the HMS Hell Belly from Ross Kotkowski with terrifying semi-truck horn. It scared the crap out of the other racers. Ross brings his inventions all the way from Mantua, OH, so he probably gets the award for ‘furthest traveled’ as well. Sometimes just the outfits themselves trump the big wheels.
“While people actually do want to race, they haven’t worried about winning since day one, so that’s a plus,” Vince continued. “The last thing we need is some yahoo on a street luge trying to enter the skateboard coffin ride. If you can’t ollie on the board, then you can’t consider it a skateboard.”
The stench of burning polymers will permeate the air as plastic low-riders tear up the pavement. PSG is expecting between 30 and 40 racers this year and about 250 spectators.
“The best spectators are the folks that had no idea what was going on and simply pulled over to watch,” Vince said. “We also have local comedian Bill Squires bringing some (family friendly) colorful commentary to the races.”
Enter the race or just cheer on the losers Sun 9/16 at West 65th and Father Caruso Drive. Registration is at 1PM and the race is from 2 to 4PM. Racers pay a $10 donation (PSG is the group bringing the Crooked River Skate Park to the Flats) to enter the race and receive a Big Race shirt designed by local artist Garrett Weider. Spectators are free. Kids are encouraged to throw water balloons at ridiculous looking adults. (Bring your own water balloons.)
For more information, go to http://PublicSquareGroup.com.
Hollie Gibbs has a BS in journalism from Kent State University and studied photography at School of the Visual Arts in Manhattan. Her articles and photographs have appeared in numerous local and national publications. She can also be found playing guitar with various bands and building life-size monster props.
Cleveland, OH 44102