By C. Ellen Connally
The presidential election of 2016 will be discussed and debated by historians, political scientists and pundits for generations to come. The literature on Clinton v. Trump will make the volumes written about Bush v. Gore look miniscule.
But scholars, sociologists and the public in general have failed to take into consideration the effect that this election is having on friendships, relationships and families. Several of my friends are dreading the coming holidays. The prospects of having to spend time with Trump supporters who share the same DNA are pretty grim and not something that they are looking forward to.
Former County Commissioner Tim Hagan has asked all those on Facebook who are voting for Trump to unfriend him. He’s adamant. If you support Trump, he doesn’t want to be your friend. Another friend of mine has started to decline dinner invitations with couples that he and his wife have socialized with for years. The couples support Trump and my friend has decided that he no longer wants to break bread with them — it’s just no longer fun.
Today I had a conversation with a woman whom I considered a friend for the last 45 years. When she admitted that she was voting for Trump — she just doesn’t like Hillary — I hung up the phone. I then unfriended her on Facebook and will not be accepting any invitations to go to lunch, dinner or anywhere else where she will be. I do not want to be her friend and, like Tim Hagan, I don’t want to be friends with any Trump supporters.
Ironically, the woman whom I considered a friend is the child of immigrant parents who probably would not have been admitted to this country if Trump and his immigration policies had been in effect when her parents first came to America 70 years ago. While I knew she leaned conservative, I had no idea she swung that far to the right.
Looking back, I suddenly came to realize that she has smiled in my face all these years while at the same time dropping those subtle hints like “I couldn’t live in that neighborhood” and those other little buzz words that white people use to make nice when talking about black folks — hints that I probably overlooked because I didn’t interact with her that often or maybe because I had known her for so long, I didn’t want to rock the boat. But when she announced her support of Trump everything fell in line and her closet racism jumped right out.
I recently saw a news account of a high school basketball team made up primarily of Hispanic players. Students in the audience from the opposing team began a chant of “build the wall.” At Trump rallies audiences chant “lock her up” and Trump says that if he is elected he will have Clinton prosecuted — just like they do in banana republics. Trump supporters assert that if the election does not go their way, they will exercise their Second Amendment rights — does that mean assassination? These are frightening thoughts right out of an Adolph Hitler playbook.
Is this the America that my former friend’s parents envisioned when they first got off the boat and looked up at the Statue of Liberty?
It is truly a sad day when a presidential candidate is so lacking in class that he could stand on a debate stage and call his opponent “that person” and a “nasty woman.” Past presidential candidates are surely turning over in their graves. And that’s only one of the numerous outrageous statements that Trump has made — disparaging immigrants, handicapped people, women, African Americans, and just about every other aspect of American society that is not like him. And that’s not even mentioning his plans of grabbing women by their private parts. What would George Washington think about that?
So, if that’s the kind of person that my former friend wants to see in the White House, then I don’t want her in my life or circle of friends. I will continue to have Republican acquaintances whom I know voted for Trump, but they will remain that — acquaintances. All I can say about them is they don’t have the guts shown by Republican John Kasich who has denounced a bigot when he sees one.
But maybe there is something good about this election. We can all finally find out who our real friends are. All the closet racists can finally emerge and don their KKK robes and we can see them in the light of day. Unfortunately, some of those same folks are our relatives and it’s pretty hard to totally unfriend them.
No matter who wins on November 8, America will be a different place, and not for the better. It’s a different place, already thanks to the tone of this election with friends pitted against friends, wives against husbands, and brothers and sisters against each other when they find themselves on opposing sides of this election. Sadly, that’s not what elections in our democracy are supposed to be about.
I just wonder if on November 9, 2016, Trump and his supporters will lower the flag and fire on Fort Sumter. That’s what they did in 1860, and by the end of the Civil War, 620,000 Americans had lost their lives. Hopefully, history will not repeat itself but there will be just as many friendships lost and families divided as during the war between the states. And that’s a tragic reflection on America and just another shameful legacy of Donald Trump and his campaign for president.
C. Ellen Connally is a retired judge of the Cleveland Municipal Court. From 2010 to 2014 she served as the President of the Cuyahoga County Council. An avid reader and student of American history, she serves on the Board of the Ohio History Connection and was recently appointed to the Soldiers and Sailors Monument Commission. She holds degrees from BGSU, CSU and is all but dissertation for a PhD from the University of Akron.
One Response to “An America Divided Against Itself – Another Unfortunate Result of Election 2016 by C. Ellen Connally”
Walt Anderson
Although we very passionately differ on this issue, I already know that you are a good person and I will always consider you a friend.